I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
