my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
