Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
