How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
