I looked at my own cervix.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
