Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
