Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
