so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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