what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
