the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
