he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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