i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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