I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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