Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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