I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
