I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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