You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
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Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
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I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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