i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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