I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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