yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As shirtless as possible
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
