She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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