I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
