I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
