I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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