your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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