I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
