Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
