people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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