Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
