You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
