The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
