if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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