At least make sure they are 18
Why
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
