I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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