I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
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Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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