hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
