i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize