I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
you didnt know i had herpes?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize