honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
