how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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