Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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