we're blogging at a bar
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
