Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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