The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
