if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize