I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
