Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I enjoy the company of your penis
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
