In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
