i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
honey bunches of taint.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
