I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
