do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
