oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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