Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
