Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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