Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
