So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
