Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
