so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
