I want to stick my p in your. b.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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