That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
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Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
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She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize