Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize
