Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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