Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
