i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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