If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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