look no pants
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
