If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
