just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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