She said her name was "party"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
