really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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