Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
she smelled like a LAN party
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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