I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dear god my vagina.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
