Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize