I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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